Mail Us

[email protected]
Family Therapist

Does A Marriage Counselor Know What’s Good For You?

A Marriage and Family Counselor necessarily has a certain vision of life, beliefs, and his own experience, which means that he may know what he would have done if he had been in your place. But it is not in your place; your situation is you who live it.

Supporting Relational Life

The profession of Marriage and Family Counselor aims to support relational life, whether it be love, marriage, family, professional, or friendly, whether it results in isolation, loneliness, mourning, frustration, separation, violence, emotional dependence, and the quest for identity.

The mission of a Marriage and Family Counselor is to accompany you in your crisis, help you realize what you really want, and pave your way to get it finally.

A Marriage Counselor Is Allowed To Comment

Of course, as a Marriage Counselor, I received training and have experience with human situations that will allow me to comment to you on what could happen according to your choices. I can also give you information on opportunities that exist and that you may need to learn about. But it is in the process of making available to you the information I have that could be useful to you and not influence you.

In the official repository of Marriage and Family Counselor skills, it is mentioned: “Ability to help people received to regain and restore self-esteem, their freedom to think and act. 

If I thought I knew what is best for you, the best decision or direction to take, I would do the opposite to help you take charge of your life and regain your freedom! My goal is not that you come to see me with every decision in your life but rather that you soon no longer need me.

Do Psychotherapy

People training to become Marriage and Family Counselors are strongly encouraged to do psychotherapy to know themselves and their own wounds so as not to be carried away by their own experiences when they see people.

Dr. Wendy M. O’Connor is a famous Licensed Marriage Family Therapist in Los Angeles, California, and provides the best couples therapy in LA.

Family Therapist

How to Listen Well To Your Partner?

Communication is the key to the success of any human relationship, and this is all the more the case in a couple because of the outbreak of emotions that the couple provokes. Communication does not only mean speaking and expressing one’s opinion, but it is, above all, based on listening: on positive interaction with the other person. Many people find it difficult to listen to their partner; they are content to hear what is said but do not install what would be “active listening.”

Listening to your partner means giving him importance, valuing his ideas, and analyzing their deep meaning. Thus, we can then respond while avoiding the misunderstandings that generally lead to conflicts and frustrations.

On the other hand, when we listen to our partner, we show him that we are present, attentive, and caring. This is also how we allow others to feel reassured in our company and, therefore, show themselves, in turn, to be attentive and benevolent. Here are some keys that will allow you to better listen to your partner and, therefore, to be better listened to.

Prioritize Open-Ended Questions

To be attentive to your partner, you must first let him speak and express his thoughts. In order to put him more at ease, it’s best to ask open-ended questions. These give more freedom to the interlocutor while offering him the attention necessary to continue the discussion.

Avoid Judging

After letting him express himself freely, it’s time to listen to his partner. We talk about listening and not about hearing because by listening, we are attentive to the deep meaning of things, we keep an open mind, and above all, we do not judge.

Ask Questions And Summarize What They Say. 

To listen well to your partner, you must make sure you understand him well. Suppose the person tells you something, and you don’t understand everything. In that case, you can ask for more information: on the one hand, you will understand their feelings better, and on the other hand, they will feel better listened to: they will therefore be able to conclude that your eventual disagreement will be sincere and honest, rather than stubborn and narrow-minded.

Have Good Non-Verbal Communication

Your gestures have a very important role with your romantic partner; it is your non-verbal communication.

– To listen to your partner, it is best to stay facing them while maintaining a relaxed posture. This will put the person at ease and won’t feel uptight or neglected.

– Keep direct eye contact, and try to show that you are well-concentrated by avoiding looking at details around you. 

– Perform small gestures that show that you are an active listener: like approving by raising your head or helping you with your hands to rephrase your partner’s sentences.

To listen to your partner, you have to follow his rhythm.

You may pick up on what the other person is saying quickly, or they may pause a lot in the conversation. At that time, it is best to leave him at his ease so that he can think, find his words, and express himself in his way. Try not to rush to answer or argue your opinion.

Be Attentive To the Words But Also To the Gestures.

Communication is not just about words. The body also expresses itself and sometimes informs better than anything that can be said. So, to better listen to your partner, pay attention to his gestures, his facial expressions, and the expressions on his face: these are signals that will let you know that you may be too aggressive, too insistent, or conversely sufficiently comforting and relevant.

Use The “I” To Express Your Opinion.

When talking about your own view of the situation, it is recommended to say: “I” think, in “my” opinion, etc. The idea is to always show that your opinion is purely subjective and that you do not consider your opinion as a holy word. This way of expressing yourself shows your partner that your opinion is not a threat to his own view of things and, therefore, that a positive solution can occur.

Show Empathy

When your partner talks to you about what they are feeling, be it joy, fear, sadness, or anxiety, show them that you understand why they are feeling and never overlook these emotions. This is called empathy or identification with another’s feelings. This capacity for empathy is very important to establish a connection between two people, which in no way can be simply pragmatic and intellectual.

Listening to your partner is a very important part of communication within the couple. It must go through several stages, including understanding, listening to words, taking into consideration non-verbal communication, and empathy. Sometimes it becomes difficult to manage the communication of your couple. At this time, it is recommended to seek professional help. 

Dr. Wendy M. O’Connor is among the famous Relationship and Marriage Counseling Therapists in Los Angeles.

Family Therapist

Best Tips for Dealing with Anxiety Attacks

While fear and feelings of anxiety can accompany people with anxiety to the point where they almost get used to it, panic attacks are times when anxiety peaks and can cause genuine panic fears. Psychotherapy is the preferred treatment to consider in such situations. However, it is also possible to learn how to better calm and overcome them through various methods and techniques.

Here you will find our advice for managing and soothing your anxiety attacks on your own, and it is again specified that none of these methods should take you away from psychotherapeutic treatment.

Spot The First Signs Of Anxiety

Certain physical signs can announce the onset of anxiety, such as increased breathing, the feeling of chest compression and handshakes, sweaty palms, dizziness, and other localized pain. Recognizing and spotting these first signals is essential because it helps to slow down the evolution of the rise in anxiety by reversing its dynamics. This can help avoid having an anxiety attack.

Food Supplements and Phytotherapy

It is strongly advised to consume herbs and plants in the form of herbal teas in order to reduce or at least accompany the drug intake. It is important to seek advice from your herbalist or your pharmacist to choose the right plants, especially during pregnancy or breastfeeding. The plants best known for their benefits and anti-anxiety properties are Rhodiola, hawthorn, and passionflower.

It is also recommended for people with anxiety disorders to take magnesium because, due to stress, the rate of the latter in our body is greatly reduced. The magnesium then helps to regulate muscle contractions and soothe the person.

Cardiac Coherence 

When you feel the anxiety rising, you can deal with it by taking a deep, slow breath for 5 to 10 minutes. When we voluntarily reduce and calm our breathing rate, our heartbeats are slowed down, and our mind calms down with this new rhythm. This method is called “cardiac coherence” and is one of the most effective techniques.

To do this, you must therefore inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth, and then completely empty your lungs. It is important to focus entirely on your breath. Thanks to this technique, you will solicit your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the body’s center of relaxation, and you will inhibit the action of the orthosympathetic nervous system, which, in turn, is responsible for excitement.

Your brain will therefore be focused entirely on your breath and will neglect the symptoms and worries that cause you this angst and anxiety.

Play Sports 

It is recommended to maintain movement from the onset of your seizure, if possible. The level of cortisol is lowered when you exercise, which is the stress hormone. Try to fight the paralysis caused by the presence of stress by keeping your body moving. Jogging, Yoga, walking, or cycling are excellent ways to get your body to breathe and reduce your anxiety.

Consult a Psychologist 

When they are significant, anxiety attacks can make life heavy and force the individual to put in place numerous avoidance or control behaviors which generally increase the feeling of anxiety. In addition, the fear of a crisis occurring sometimes creates a vicious cycle between episodes, with some people developing anxiety at the thought of becoming distressed. 

Consulting a psychologist is essential, and if possible, before the situation worsens and becomes invasive. Your psychologist will explain to you how anxiety sets in and how to reverse the dynamic to regain balance and control of your mental life. 

I am Dr. Wendy M. O’Connor. I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Los Angeles, California. If you are looking for a Psychotherapist in Los Angeles, you can contact me anytime. I am available at working hours.


How to Handle Anxiety Attacks

People with Anxiety may become accustomed to feelings of fear and anxiety. However, panic attacks can cause extreme anxiety and panic. In such situations, psychotherapy is the recommended treatment. Nonetheless, there are ways to learn how to manage and overcome anxiety attacks on your own. Our advice for managing and calming anxiety attacks is provided here, but it is important to note that none of these methods should replace psychotherapeutic treatment.

Practice A Mindfulness Exercise. 

During an anxiety attack, it is difficult to control our thoughts. Mindfulness allows you to voluntarily focus on something very specific in order to allow you to return to the present. This technique consists of paying attention to the direct environment, that is to say, the place where you are. Then try to name and describe each object you see around you (it could be a vase, a table, a plant, an armchair, etc.). The idea is to calm your mind, increase your relaxation and ground yourself in the environment around you.

Stimulate Acupressure Points 

You can by yourself activate two specific acupressure points that allow you to relieve stress. The first is located in your right hand, at the extension of the little finger, at the base of your wrist, between the bone and the tendon.

The second point is between the index finger and the thumb. To activate it, you have to pinch the flesh located in this area quite firmly for a few minutes.


Self-hypnosis is a very effective technique and is increasingly used by health professionals to manage anxiety attacks. This technique consists of closing your eyes as soon as you feel the onset of a crisis and trying to imagine yourself in a place that you really appreciate. It can be a garden, a beach, or a chalet in the mountains.

Then, try to describe what you are feeling:

  • The sun on your skin
  • The soft sand under your feet
  • The caress of the wind on your cheek

This will help calm your mind and reduce the signs and physical symptoms of the anxiety attack.

Stimulate Your Thymus 

It is also called “the point of happiness.” The thymus is located in the neck, near the sternum. This organ centralizes part of your body’s energy, and stimulating it reduces stress. You can do this by smiling broadly and tapping it for about 15 seconds.

Essential Oils 

Essential oils have a soothing power that reduces blood pressure and therefore lowers the heart rate.

In case of extreme muscle tension, it is advisable to use Roman chamomile to relieve yourself by massaging the solar plexus or the wrist with a few drops of this oil. You can also put a few drops of fine lavender at night in case of a night crisis.

Tension-Relaxation Cycles 

To soothe an anxiety attack, you can tense and then relax your body. This technique is very often used in Yoga. It consists of taking a deep breath, then holding your breath for 5 to 10 seconds by putting your body in tension. Do this exercise for at least 10 minutes. This will decrease your muscle tension.


Couple Crisis: What Is The Difference Between Marriage Counseling And Couple Therapy?

When the couple’s relationship becomes a source of great suffering, when a couple is locked in mutual reproaches, or when the spouses are asking themselves the question of separation, it can be very beneficial to seek help from a professional in the marital relationship. But is it better to turn to a marriage counselor or a couple therapist? 

Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling is concerned with the conscious aspects of the crisis situation (which does not prevent awareness raising).

It is quite possible to talk about childhood wounds in a marriage counseling interview, but the counselor will not seek to trigger awareness of repressed elements. Indeed, marriage counseling is not a therapy; it could be harmful to shed light on deep wounds without then accompanying the person to help him live with this awareness.

A marriage counselor will help spouses to communicate, to really listen to each other, and to express what they have in their hearts: their feelings and their resentments. It will help clear up misunderstandings and better understand each other’s reactions. He will seek to understand everyone’s real expectations and fears. It will help the couple to take into account the fact that each has legitimate personal needs and aspirations. It will help the spouses to think about changes and concrete solutions through support that will allow the couple to find their own answers and to make the decisions that really correspond to them. Marriage counseling can also be an accompaniment to discern and decide whether or not to separate or to live this separation in mutual respect if it is decided. 

Couple Therapy

Couple therapy will look for the root of the problems in the psychological wounds of each of the spouses. 

There are different types of couples therapy; some may offer different approaches than the one we are talking about here. A couples therapist will look for deeper causes, possibly unconscious, of the sufferings and dysfunctions of the couple. It is sometimes not possible to overcome certain misunderstandings and certain hurtful reactions without highlighting their roots in personal history, often childhood.

Spouses Can Choose Among The Two Approaches.

Marriage counseling and couple therapy are, therefore, two approaches that can really help a couple to see more clearly what they are going through and to move forward. It is up to the spouses to choose the one with which they feel more comfortable or the one which seems to them to correspond to the type of crisis they are going through.

Dr. Wendy M. O’Connor is a famous Licensed Marriage Family Therapist in Los Angeles, California, and provides the best couples therapy in Los Angeles.


Walk and Talk Therapy, Psychotherapy While Walking

Mindfulness-inspired walking therapy is becoming increasingly popular. Many studies attest to the therapeutic effects of physical exercise, and we know that physical activity contributes to the well-being of the body and mind; regularly mobilizing your body helps reduce anxiety and can also prevent depression.

So Why Not Combine the Two: Walking and Psychotherapy?

When you are focused on your difficulties, you are sitting most of the time. You think long and hard until you feel overwhelmed and stuck in the problem. Walk-and-talk therapy at least gets you off the shrink’s couch (or yours)!

Indeed, she addresses the patient’s demands by putting him into action by acting physically; he is no longer fixed; he walks and undertakes.

The combination of walking and psychotherapy, therefore, has quite interesting advantages.

Being in contact with natural environments leads to a reduction in stress (measurable in particular by a slowing of the heart rate and a reduction in blood pressure). Indeed, simple exposure to a natural landscape in a photograph or by the window soothes and arouses a feeling of well-being, whereas urban scenes activate the brain areas of anxiety.

Thus, the brain seems to ruminate less in nature.

Why Does A Natural Environment Protect Against Depression?

In this regard, in 2015, Grégory Bratman wondered why a natural environment protects against depression and anxiety disorders. They showed that a 1h30 walk in nature leads to a decrease in the activity of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, a brain area associated with reflection and self-focus and, therefore, with the omnipresent negative ruminations in people who are going through an episode of depression. The researchers carried out an evaluation of the depressive state of the subjects through psychological questionnaires, and they confirmed that at the clinical level, ruminations decreased after this walk.

Walk In Nature with a Therapist.

In addition, walking in nature with a therapist is conducive to training to evolve into full consciousness. A walk in the forest, for example, is a very immersive context. In the middle of the trees, nature gives itself entirely to see, smell, hear, to touch. The landscape, the rustling of the foliage, the sound of the wind, its freshness in your clothes, the crackle of twigs under your feet, the chirping of birds, the grass waving around your calves, and the tree trunks that go far and high in the sky and repeat themselves endlessly.

Anchored in this multisensory experience, the patient becomes more easily aware that the difficulty mentioned in therapy is one element among others constituting his world: the natural environment amazes and quickly arouses the feeling of being part of a whole. Its reality is no longer restricted to the problem, and it also opens up to the knowledge of the mechanics of the body, which can go well, to the relationship to the environment, to other encounters too; the resources emerge slowly, at the rate of the consultant’s need, just like walking, secondary to the therapeutic conversation.

Walk and Talk Therapy Is Not For Everyone.

Walk, and Talk Therapy is not suitable for everyone, of course, and is not possible in all contexts, but it is an original type of consultation that can have very beneficial effects on certain problems. 

The advent of online therapies questions what constitutes the essence of a therapeutic relationship. Does the latter require a meeting and a physical presence? Are traditional practices transferable as they are from the physical world to the virtual world?

Dr. Wendy M. O’Connor is among the famous Relationship and Marriage Counseling Therapists in Los Angeles, California. If you are looking for the Best Psychotherapist in Los Angeles


Why Do Men Find It Difficult To Consult A Psychologist?

After decades spent suffering from clichés and stigmas of all kinds, psychotherapy today seems to be well-accepted by society. In appearance, at least. Since there is still a large section of the population for whom mental health issues remain desperately taboo: adult men. If most of them willingly accept that their spouses and female relatives share their problems with psychologists, they find it difficult to take the plunge. Proof of weakness, lack of virility, and clichés die hard. They, too, can benefit from an external perspective, especially since they are encouraged to keep it quiet. Which only multiplies the harmful consequences of these moments of down. So, how do you convince a man to consult?

Find Other Men Who Have Consulted A Psychologist.

The major problem with psychotherapy for men is that these gentlemen still see consulting as evidence of weakness. Having moments of weakness is nothing to be ashamed of, and everyone goes through it in their lifetime. Unfortunately, the collective unconscious still considers this weakness as a defect to be concealed at all costs. Acceptable for women certainly, but not for men. Fortunately, more and more of them understand that these stereotypes are not only archaic but that they are also dangerous. Indeed, because of this taboo, the suicide rate is almost three times higher among men than among women.

There are probably men around you who have taken the plunge. They have not lost their virility, however. These men could therefore intervene with your loved one to explain the process but, above all, the daily benefits of online or in-office psychotherapy.

Give It Time And Offer Information.

Man or woman, between the moment when we notice that our mental health is not in good shape and the moment when we decide to consult, there is always a period of progress and acceptance. It takes time to realize that we are not well. Factually mention his difficulties, and the possibility of consulting, without inciting or forcing. Even if this may seem unfair to you, and it often adds to an already existing mental load for companions and loved ones, do not hesitate to carry out research. Contact details of professionals (find several, so he can make his choice), studies publishing the positive effects of psychotherapy (online or in the office) for men. Share this information with him without doing the steps for him unless he asks you to, of course.

You can also suggest that he begin by discussing his difficulties with his attending physician. Or any healthcare professional he trusts. They are authorized to act in an emergency situation and to provide advice. If he hears them from the mouth of a competent authority, he may more easily agree to seek the necessary help.

Let Him Choose The Psychotherapy And The Psychologist That Suits Him.

The patient must be able to choose who he addresses and how he wants to be treated. However, faced with a closed and lost man, one can be tempted to take the steps and manage everything. However, the process of psychological care implies that one is motivated and that one participates actively in his recovery. And it starts with making your own decisions. Or at least that we clearly ask for help from those around us. If you take care of everything, your loved one will arrive at their first session without having had time to walk. He will wonder what he is doing there. At best, it will not be receptive; at worst, it will be permanently closed.

In addition, there are many types of therapy and as many professional profiles. What suits you, or seems interesting to you, is not necessarily what will resonate with him. Type of psychotherapy, current of the psychologist, frequency of sessions, configuration (face-to-face, online, or asynchronously). It is up to him to choose among the many choices at his disposal.

If he is still resistant to traditional therapy, distance psychotherapy may prove to be an excellent option. He will be able to discuss at his own pace and from the comfort of his home without facing the inquisitive looks in the waiting room (probably imagined). If he is more comfortable in writing, he will be able to express himself in this way. Or just talk when he feels the need.

Start Group Therapy

As a family or as a couple, group therapies bring together several people around the psychologist in the office or online. This allows the man who needs to consult to be reassured. And suppose the latter is still too imbued with gender stereotypes. In that case, he can take advantage of the sessions while arranging with his conscience, on the pretext that he does not consult himself and is content to accompany his partner or a member of his family.

Eventually, this mode of therapy should give him the desire and the courage to go it alone.

If you are at a loss when faced with a man around you who is suffering, do not hesitate to consult a psychologist to see more clearly and explore all your options.

Dr. Wendy M. O’Connor is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Los Angeles, California. If you are looking for a Psychotherapist in Los Angeles, visit The Traffic Light Center website for more information.


Stress: How Do the Mind and Body React and Wear Out?

When stress persists, the body suffers and becomes exhausted. Positive emotions “improve” our physiological parameters and reduce the risk of physical or psychological disorders. How to activate these emotions that do good?

When the brain reacts to a threatening situation, it is the amygdala, a structure belonging to the limbic system which manages the emotion, perceives the signal of danger, and is activated, causing a cascade of physiological modifications: the energy reserves are mobilized, the heart rate increases to better supply the muscles with nutrients, the sweating increases, the respiration increases in order to allow a large quantity of oxygen to reach the brain and the muscles, natural analgesics are released in a preventive way, platelets are activated to minimize blood loss in the event of an injury, inflammatory phenomena are triggered to protect the body.

During this reaction, the body, therefore, mobilizes to face a threat, and it is this automatic response that enables our ancestors to survive and face the dangers and predators to which they were subjected (fight or flight: we fight or we flee).

This stress response is therefore necessary for the body in many situations, for example, when we are crossing the road, and a car is approaching quickly.

Or, when in the event of an injury, the mechanisms of inflammation are activated to promote wound healing. On the other hand, the stress response is harmful when it is too frequent and becomes chronic (for example, when we are “under tension” at work).

This response does not leave time or the possibility for the body to return to a state of balance; in the long term, the body “wears out,” which can promote the development of certain pathologies such as depression, viral diseases, or cardiovascular abnormalities.

Alongside these biological mechanisms, behavioral factors can also influence the risk of developing cardiovascular disease: diet, tobacco, and lack of physical exercise. Stressed, we can eat more, smoke, and do less sport, for example. , as many risk factors are again linked to our emotions.

So What Is An Emotion?

An emotion is an affective state caused by an automatic evaluation of our needs. It involves behavioral, physiological, and cognitive adjustments related to the situation. It prepares the body to act effectively and appropriately in a given context. Emotions are divided into two categories: negative or unpleasant and positive or pleasant.

The study of the impact of emotions on health is a fairly developed area of ​​research, and the impact of negative emotions on health is widely known, but since the 1990s, has also been studied, the link between emotions such as joy, vitality, curiosity, gratitude, and improved physical health. Some conclusions have also shown a higher resistance to infections and a reduced probability of cardiovascular and cerebrovascular accidents or diseases of aging.

Our emotions would therefore have a direct influence on the health of our heart, and different methods make it possible to better manage stress in the face of destabilizing situations such as mindfulness meditation or hypnosis, for example.

You can work to develop your hedonic well-being, which corresponds to the pursuit of pleasure, and your eudemonic well-being, which is linked to self-realization, autonomy, positive relationships with others, and meaning that we give into existence.

It has indeed been shown that hedonic well-being and eudemonic well-being (which goes beyond immediate gratification) and more for the latter are associated with the activation of “anti-stress” genes.

How Can You Improve Your Well-Being In Order To Activate These “Anti-Stress” Factors?

Slow walking in the forest is increasingly advocated in Japan as a form of preventive anti-stress medicine.

The “Shinrin-yoku,” which means “forest bathing,” leads the person to pay attention to the freshness of the air, the colors, and the sounds. It is a form of meditation that consists of being present in the environment. 

Dr. Wendy M. O’Connor is a famous licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles, California. If you are looking for the Best Psychologist in Los Angeles, Contact us.

Family Therapist

How Narcissistic Perversion Develops In The Couple?

Many people can be led to live a conflictual couple relationship but to speak of narcissistic perversion, and it is important to have what is called a so-called complementary relationship.

Relationship Building

To begin with, and this is very important, we must not look at the partners one by one but at the type of relationship that is created:

It is a rigid complementary relationship that functions like an interactional dance between two partners, one in a superior position and the other in a subordinate position.

To understand how this type of relationship is built, it is necessary to take into account three indicators:

  1. The first indicator is the requirement versus the sacrifice.
  2. On the one hand, there is someone, for the example we will say that it is the man, “him,” who is never tuned in with the will of the other, “her,” and which requires that the relationship serves above all to satisfy her needs like a spoiled child. On the contrary, there is she, who accepts the conditions demanded by her partner by sacrificing herself.
  3. So an interactional game develops in which the one who sacrifices reinforces the behavior of the one with this requirement.
  4. The second indicator is devaluation versus the need for recognition 
  5. We are faced with repeated and systematic criticism in daily life, for example, how to clean vegetables, drive, dress, or educate children.
  6. Often the criticisms are disguised as teaching advice or as jokes, resulting in the victim feeling even more confused and disturbed.
  7. It’s a dance that she does in a subordinate position so as not to lose him and a dance that means to him that she must perform immediately; it’s her position of superiority. She does all this with the idea: “I have value, and one day, I hope he will recognize it.”
  8. The third indicator is the lack of attunement with the other versus the visibility search:
  9. On the one hand, there is him, who has no interest in deep experiences with the other and could be defined as an emotional illiterate: it’s like a magician who disappears every time you have to go and listen to the other. We could do an experiment, try to say a word during their monologue of these stalkers, and suddenly you become completely invisible. He only hears the sound of his voice and sees only his reflection in your gaze. On the other side, there is her, who seeks to be noticed more and more by using all possible means.

The Interactional Game of a Couple

This interactional game of couple is a scenario, and if it is repeated over and over again is likely to go as far as criminal harassment, which finds its origin close to any pathological obsession.

If you are looking for a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles, California, visit The Traffic Light Center website for more information.


The Six Most Common Mental Blocks

Here is a short list of the most common mental blocks that prevent you from changing your life and living the way you dream. Some of them will certainly look very familiar to you.

  • Lack of Open-Mindedness

You believe that what you have done in the past limits what you can do in the future. Therefore, although this is true to some extent, you are convinced that your abilities have certain limits that you cannot overcome. A lack of open-mindedness will prevent you from growing, learning, and going beyond your comfort zone. You will agree to arbitrary limits and remain tied to the familiar, unable to see your potential.

  • Permanent Indecision

Indecision causes you to place too much importance on every decision. You are convinced that making the best decision on a single option necessarily determines your success or failure in an entire domain. The result is an inability to concentrate. This indecision may come from being unsure of your priorities or from being unsure of what is important.

  • Comparison to Others

Comparison will keep you in a state of anger because you will always find other people who seem to be doing a better job than you. Their successes will make you think that all your efforts are wasted. If they succeed before you do, they pose a threat to you. You’ll want to give up and search for the land you can claim first.

  • Believe That There Are No Limits.

To be convinced that no limits exist seems to be anything but a mental block. However, believing in the absence of limits leads to many dead ends. It stems from our ability to overestimate our own resources and abilities despite all the evidence.

Because you want to do too many things, you cannot make significant progress in anything. You go in circles, trying to move your projects forward at once. You then start to get depressed, and soon you want to stop.

  • Uncertainty about Implementing Your Actions

Uncertainty differs from indecision in how you can make a decision. Still, you cannot understand how to implement it, paralyzing you in making your decision. With constant access to the Internet and information, it has become even easier to feel overwhelmed by all the methods and tools available.

If you’ve ever spent an hour choosing between 4 or 5 webinars like the ones here, you know what uncertainty feels like. Because the options are so similar, the brain can no longer determine which is best. The differences are so small that you keep evaluating endlessly.

  • Living with Tunnel Vision

Tunnel vision locks you into your perspective, no matter how inaccurate or distorted. You then lose all objectivity, which can lead to problems because you can no longer see other options that are easier and more accessible. Tunnel vision can also cause you to feel lonely when you’re not or see obstacles as bigger than they are.

Dr. Wendy M. O’Connor is among the famous Relationship and Marriage Counseling Therapists in Los Angeles, California. If you are looking for the Best Psychotherapist in Los Angeles, visit The Traffic Light Center website for more information.

    Your Cart
    Your cart is emptyReturn to Shop