Co-parenting after a divorce can be an uphill battle. You cannot wish away your history with your ex because you have a child with them, but sometimes they can really make your life a living hell.
It can be hard to deal with someone you do not get along with or cannot find common ground with. But co-parenting requires both parties to negotiate, and toxic people cannot do that, because they don’t consider other people’s needs. Here’s why co-parenting with a toxic ex might be difficult:
- They have different aspirations from you
- They aren’t ready to put the child first
- They don’t want to take responsibility for their actions
- They tend to be controlling
The easy thing to do would be for you to forget about your ex, move on with your life, and begin the process of healing. However, you need to consider everyone involved, and ideally, children would have a relationship with both parents. When your ex is toxic, parallel parenting is the best choice.
What is co-parenting?
It’s a method of parenting where parents have limited contact with each other but they are still present in the lives of their children. Taking distance from your ex can be the best way to heal and by co-parenting it also allows your child to maintain contact with them. Parallel parenting appreciates how important both parents are to a child.
Take legal action
Going to court shouldn’t be the first option when thinking about parallel parenting. Instead, seek a neutral party to act as a mediator to help you work through your issues with your ex. If this doesn’t work, then it’s time to go to court. If you choose the latter, be prepared to invest time, money, and emotion.
Don’t put your ego first
Always remember that this isn’t about you. The goal is to make the best decisions for your child. Don’t use parallel parenting as a way to get back at your ex.
Put your ego in check because this can be the greatest hindrance to parenting successfully. Constantly trying to prove that you’re the better parent may get in the way of you executing your parental duties.
Live your best life
Once the boundaries have been set, take some time for yourself: take a vacation, go shopping, learn something new. Go right ahead and live your life to the fullest.
Parenting with a toxic-ex isn’t easy, but it’s achievable. Just remember to put your child’s happiness first.